Mother's Day

Mother's Day! Wow - it was yesterday! I am a bit behind on the posts, obviously. It was a nice day with the boys. Admittedly, Mother's Day with little people can often feel like any other day...but that is OK. There were several years pre-Gavin where Mother's Day was a painful reminder of how badly I wanted to be a mom, and wasn't. I did find it quite humorous when Gav came downstairs to the usual counter of already-prepared-while-they-were-still-sleeping breakfasts and exclaimed, "What? YOU did this?" and then he later said, "Dad, YOU should have done that!" But hubby was totally off the hook since he brought home 2 bags full of Lululemon gear from Chicago for me. Awesome! Probably the most fun I had yesterday was running over to get Gav from basketball clinic and then heading to the track with him, where he set his personal best of an 8:05 mile before he and I played lacrosse for a while. So fun!

Here is the standard "everybody hurry up and smile so we can leave for church" Mother's Day shot. It isn't the picture I envisioned with the boys, but if it was something I envisioned, I wouldn't end up being in it, being the house photog. Oh well.

But, the special thing about this picture (besides my 3 handsome, hilarious boys), is the dress I am wearing. I don't think it looks all that great on me anymore, but I just had to wear it. I bought it YEARS ago for a family friend's wedding, during my desperate-for-a-baby phase. And then, I got to wear it on my first Mother's Day, a holiday I was so proud and thankful to celebrate fully as a mommy. . .

I think I am done with the dress. And I think we are done making babies. I wish I could say I was having a harder time parting with the dress than the idea of not having more babies. But honestly, when I tell people we are done, I am lying, because I don't feel done. I don't want to be done. I want to feel life kicking in me, I want to be engulfed in the fury of labor pains, I want to breastfeed another baby. I want our boys to have the joy of welcoming another sibling and having another playmate. But, for very sane, realistic reasons, we are done. Ugh. I don't even know where I am going with this post. Except that now, as I part with the dress, I am parting with the idea of more babies. Our family is complete. Our family is complete. OK, I might need to repeat that a few more times. And buy a new dress.